How to make an office romance work

By:Jason Inocencio, Cro Magnon(yahoo.com)
Image/s by:(ploomy.com)

You tried to avoid it, but you just can't help it: love has conquered you in the workplace.

Perhaps there is no easier venue to form new relationships than in one’s workplace. You’ve undoubtedly heard of several instances where office romances are entered into and why some work while others don’t.

Familiarity led to romance

Pat, a 29-year-old project manager, met his current girlfriend, Ana, when they were officemates at an agency a few years back. “I noticed, first of all, that she treated everyone so well,” he shares, “Which is a big help in a high-stress job! And then I saw that she had a great sense of humor, that we had the same taste in music, and so on. So I guess, all in all, it was a combination of things.”

Seeing Ana daily at work only made the process of wanting to know more about her easier for Pat. “It made it easier, because we had a lot of work experiences to talk about,” he says. “We could have breakfast, lunch, and dinner together, and then even have time to chat while walking to the MRT station together after work.”

Too much of a risk?

To give a dissenting opinion, 39-year-old Joseph has long avoided any kind of office romance. “This is a personal principle I've adopted because it makes sense for me and my circumstances,” he explains. “Even before graduating, my ambition was to be a leader in whatever organization I work with. I'd like to marry someone intelligent, ambitious, and on the fast-track. Dating someone from work is a sub-optimal long-term option.”

Lest you think that Joseph hasn’t thought about this in detail, that’s actually far from the truth. “Regardless of the scenario,” he warns, “an office romance is a high risk option. Whether the relationship works out or doesn't, the likely outcome would be one of us having to quit. It is also potentially less rewarding not just in terms of career satisfaction but across multiple dimensions.”

Sharing experiences vs seeing different perspectives

Yet Pat has found happiness and satisfaction in the relationship he was able to cultivate with Ana. “It's definitely convenient,” Pat notes. “And you get to really see who your partner is outside your relationship by how they treat other people in the office. You do have to learn to compartmentalize when you get into arguments, though.”

Joseph gives another reason for preferring to keep his dating life outside the confines of his office space. “Being with someone you don't work with opens you up to a much wider world,” he says. “When I was dating a school teacher, her stories and challenges were refreshingly different."

"How she handled her problem students gave me insights about dealing with stubborn clients. More importantly, dating her helped me balance out my priorities. My valuing her successes and what made her happy broadened what matters to me. Because we weren't in the same field, we both had room to be successful without compromises.”

Finally, when asked if he’d recommend an office romance to others, Pat gladly answers in the affirmative. “Why not? If you find that you like someone enough to enter into a serious relationship with them and vice versa, I don't see why you shouldn't, so long as you can remain professional and not let it affect your work performance or decision-making.”